On a Male Feminist ™

[Content warnings: misogynist male feminists, reference to violence including rape & murder, ableism, fat shaming, gaslighting. This is critical of fake male feminists and the feminist memes that enable them]

He’s one of the good White Men

We know this because he tweets hashtag kill all white men

Because he makes jokes about fedoras and neckbeards

Referring to misogynists–also, to all fat men or men seeming autistic

But no matter—he’s one of the good White Men

We know this because when a guy answers the tweet

Taking posts about murder and violence as threats

(Daring to have a mind that processes literally) he screencaps and mocks

He’s not one of those White Men.

He’s one of the good White Men

Meaning when a woman or a black man slags off white men

He takes no offence! It doesn’t apply–

So he never sees his own acts with a critical eye

Picking up quickly that it’s not about him–IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

It’s not about you

His skin isn’t thick; just unpierced by hate

He doesn’t get hate like men who’ve known words designed to tear the skin

And not merely to tickle. Whose minds are not set up to tell jokes from threats

He’s better than them.

*

You know he’s not One Of Those White Men

Because he says your taste in music is not feminist enough

Because he jokes about white girls

Because he calls unfeminist women “morons”

Because he calls non-genius women “morons”

Because he calls women who’ve ever made a mistake in their life “morons”

Or Problematic

Because his female opponents just can’t take a call out—

But any questioning his acts ends with

Misconstruction

Misfiring

Missed points

An endless endless series of questions on and on until you can’t remember what you asked and you can’t remember why he’s angry and you begin to wonder after all whether you are just dumb,

After all, he’s not one of those….

He cares about feminist role models whose cleverness surpasses their male friends’

Never slow to decry those who fall short as stupid, slow, failures

Never slow to worship those who succeed as flawless, feminist, wonders

He’s careful not to say “sexy”.

His gift of language lets him switch these words, in, out, around, away

Twisting and turning to make them okay,

And you know he’s not one of those white men,

Because when you went back to his place

Intent on rewarding the male feminist you knew

And you changed your mind,

Reasons undefined,

He didn’t rape you.

.

He didn’t.

.

You were so grateful. So grateful it used all your energy to be grateful

So grateful you apologised; so grateful you wept

So grateful yet understanding even then

That had he known you were grateful,

You would not have been feminist enough.

And you’d be the moron.

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